Support Group

Books

Boundaries and Consequences

Boundaries and consequences are a critical part of the healing process in order to have healthy relationships of all types in the future.

I was 34 years old the first time I set anything even resembling a boundary with a consequence. Multiple boundaries were violated and the collective consequence was enforced with next to no effort on my part. I was 62 when I enforced my most serious consequence for a violation of a critical boundary, the kind that could have cost me my entire family. It has been a lifelong process for me to identify, create and execute boundaries. It is not easy but well worth the work.

I have been focusing on boundaries and consequences … every day for 4 years now. There are many layers to the topic and a lot of self-reflection necessary to set and hold boundaries and enforce consequences. Therefore, I want to share the information that has been useful to me, based on the work of multiple therapists and specialists in the field, and created a very brief and conceptual explanation in regard to setting boundaries and executing consequences.

This document is purely to get you thinking about the topic. I am not a therapist and as you move forward with the essential process, I strongly recommend that you work with a therapist skilled at setting core-value based healthy boundaries and defining appropriate consequences, as well as enforcing those boundaries and consequences.

In addition to the 5 group sessions in the “Single Minded” series, I offer group roundtable discussions on a variety of topics including identifying core values and setting boundaries and executing consequences. Check Services.

Click here to read and download Thoughts on Boundaries and Consequences

Getting Help

• Therapy: counseling for grief, family dynamics and relationship patterns.

• Small group friends were the best remedy - having other people who understand and have been through similar  situations

• Attending church

• Bible study group such as When you Pray

• Somatic movement: yoga, dance (fitness, belly, latin, any), walking

• EFT Tapping (Tapping Solutions app)

• Box breathing

• 9D Breathwork

• EMDR Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy

Building Community

• Attend church

• Community social activities

• Attend classes: exercise, arts, dance, sports

• Meetup.com - lot of groups with a variety of interests

• The Denvererite.com

Music

Music is the only thing that activates your entire brain at the same time. It is incredibly healing.

• DC Districts’ Positive Music, Spotify Playlist

• DC Districts’ Other Music, Spotify Playlist

• Hold Your Own, Spoken Word, Spotify Song

• Healing House Music, Spotify Playlist, vibrational healing music

• Binaural Beats: Deeper Sleep, Spotify Playlist

• EMDR Bilateral Stimulation 10+ Hours Continuous for Healing, Peace, Sleep and Relaxation, Spotify Playlist

• Solfeggio all 9 Frequencies, nine healing hz, Spotify playlist

• 432 hz, Frequency of the Universe, Spotify Playlist

Apps

• Calm

• Tapping Solution

• Meditation: Box Breathing, any breath work app

• Any frequency healing app: search: binaural beats, healing frequency sound, solfeggio frequencies

Radio

• K Love: positive encouraging American Christian music (see music)

• Money Talks: Financial advice with Dave Ramsey and Stacy Johnson

Streaming

• Ted Lasso, 3 seasons, Apple TV – just plain “feel good,” positive attitude (It’s worth doing a free week or even paying for Apple TV for a couple of months to binge it. Season 4 comes out late 2025/early 2026.) Season 4 is in the works for fall 2025.

• In & Of Itself, 1.5 hr movie, Hulu – identify and “I am,” something to think about

Referrals

For any project that involve electrical, plumbing or natural gas work, ALWAYS call a PROFESSIONAL. Family, friends and neighbors are well intended but if the work is not up to code or is defective, they will not guarantee their work.

• Castle Pines Electric, Scott Ferguson

• HULA Insurance (Home, Umbrella, Life, and Auto), Dan Sitz, Insurance broker, Note: Please do NOT mention DivorceCare®

• Divorce Lending Association, LLC, Karla Kyte at Cross Country Mortgage, Certified Divorce Lending Professional

• Davy Ramsey Financial Coaching, Marci Miller

• Drea’s Kitchen, Andrea Perrino, meals prepared fresh and delivered:

• Living Beyond the Label, Andrea Perrino, ADHD Life Coaching for those living with ADHA and their families

• Angela Marie Creative, Fine Art Photographer, Angela Kleinsasser,

  One of my passions is newly singles - I did new "family" photos with just my kids so we didn't just have blank walls when I took the family photos down. I'd love to be able to empower singles in their new lives and stories with photos of their kids. 

Wild at Heart Expanded Edition: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
by John Eldredge

Wild at Heart is one of Trish’s all time favorite books. It identifies the 3 needs of every man and the 3 desires of every woman. It explains that men need to feel respected and to have peace, while woman need to feel cherished, safe and secure. Understanding how both men and woman were created and for what purposes allows each to live in their strengths and to become the perfect complement to each other.

Captivating Expanded Edition: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul
by Stasi and John Eldredge

While Captivating is the “sister” book to Wild at Heart, Trish feels that this book does not hit the mark that the other does and that feminine is covered enough in Wild at Heart.

Trish has received many recommendations of books that others going through divorce have found helpful on the following topics:

• Personal growth and healing

• Inspiration

• Boundaries

• Forgiving

• Communication and conflict resolution

• Safety and Intuition

• Faith

• Narcissist behavior, abuse and healing

• Parenting

• Relationships

The book recommendations are listed in a downloadable pdf, each book with a brief description and a link to it on Amazon. They are listed under the topics above.

Click here to read and download BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS.

Social Media

handles as they are on IG

• ana_del_castillo, Ana Del Castillo (empowerment coach)

• apriljoneslaw, Jones Law Firm, PC (divorce lawyers, great videos for tips - not recommended for representation)

• brenebrown, Brene Brown (reseacher, motivation)

• chantal.contorines.coaching, Chantal Contories, Coersive Control Co-Parenting Coach

• confidently_divorced, Gina Conover (divorce coach)

• conflictish, Ryan Dunlap (coach, pastor, former hostage negotiator, conflict resolution)

• daily_affirmations, Daily Affirmations (affirmations, positivity)

• dannah_eve, Dannah Eve (safety tips)

• dannymorel, Danny Morel (guiding healing)

• Divorcecoachlindsay, Lindsay Watson (divorce coach and coparenting coach)

• doctorramani, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, (top narcissism expert)

• donnaashworthwords, Donna Ashworth (perspective)

• drdoylesays, Glenn Patrick Doyle, psychologist

• depetersalerno, Dr Peter Salerno, psychotherapist (trauma therapist, personality disorder specialist)

• Drtaraswart, Dr Tara Swart, neuroscientist & MD

• Evypoumpouras, Evy Poumpouras, former FBI, law enforcement contributor, safety

• fluer_1, Fluer (coach)

• Gabormatemd, Gabor Mate (expert on trauma, addition, stress and childhood)

• jadewarshaw, Jade Warshaw (the Ramsey Show Co-host, money advice)

• jayshetty, Jay Shetty (life coach)

• jeffersonfisher, Jeffrey Fisher,  trial lawyer (communication)

• keithyackey, Keith Yackey (relationship perspective for men)

• lewishowes, Lewis Howes (growth mindset)

• maxtrombly, Max Trombly (emotional intelligence and conscious relationships for men and women)

• melrobbins, Mel Robbins (changing your life)

• nikoeman, Niko Emanuilidis (dating advice)

• quinlanwalther, Quinlan Walther (relationships)

• risingwomen

• sacredthomas, Sacred Light Amadeus Thomas (think, grow and evolve)

• Sam.the.therapist, Samantha, LCSW (navigating growth)

• shedara, Shedara Gibson (healing life)

• soulupliftmotivation, (motivation, inspiration, quotes)

• the_denver_foodie, The Denver Foodie (things to do: places to eat around Denver)

• the.holistic.psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera (healing)

• theamandabittner, Amanda Buttler (things to do: Colorado “explorer”)

• thematthewhussey, Matthew Hussey (relationship coach)

• theopenhousepodcast, Louise Rumball (therapy)

• thesabrinazoharshow, Sabrina Zohar, Dating coach (dating - awareness and changing habits)

• todaysssquote

• understandingthenarc (as in narcissist), Maria Consiglio, MSW (coach)

• wordsofajay, Jess Baird (inspiration)

Podcasts

• Take Your Life Back, Dr. Ramani (navigating narcissism: helps with marriage to a narcissist and how to heal from narcissistic abuse)

• Creating Emotional Intelligence, Jeremy Holcomb (inner healing and personal growth)

• On Attachment, Stephanie Rigg (how attachment shapes the way we live & love)

• Love, Happiness and Success, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

• The Mel Robbins Podcast (changing your life)

• Love The School of Greatness, Lewis Howes (growth mindset)

• On Purpose with Jay Shetty (life coach)

• The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett

• Life with Matthew Hussey (relationship coach)

• The Sabrina Zohar Show (no BS guide to dating)

• The Daddy Academy, Niko Emanuilidis (dating advice) … Coming Soon!